Personal Finance Feb 16, 2021 04:41 AM EST

How to Talk About Money When You're in a Relationship

By Erika Dickinson

Valentine's Day has come and went just like that. Money can go as fast lightning too, if you are not careful.

If you are in a relationship with someone, and both of you are earning,  then how to make sure your finances are in order, must be a priority. Married or not, a lasting relationship is not likely to be only about love, but also about how well you plan the things that can affect your well-being the road, which include your finacial health.

Being in a relationship should not be sunshine and romance all the time, unless the two of you are born with silver spoons; (but even heirs and heiresses need to talk about their money!) it's a must to tackle topics like savings and returns too.

After all, the last thing you will want is to break up over money, just because its taboo to even talk about it. If you find it hard to plan your finances together, then these are three tips you can consider:

Make time to review your finances together 

US Dollars
(Photo : Photo by Thomas Trutschel/Photothek via Getty Images)
How to plan your finances as a couple.

The thing with couples who eventually break up over financial issues that they did not stop and review their finances together. One of them is all too willing to let the other person handle it, or think money is too sensitive of an issue to bring up.

"Many couples don't talk openly about money, so when money issues do come up, it becomes a sensitive subject and leads to conflict," said Pamela Yellen, financial expert, New York Times best-selling author and founder of Bank On Yourself.

According to this financial guru, there is no way to go about this but to sit down with your partner regularly (monthly!) and go over how the two of you spend and save. 

"Look at everything you bought during the past month and everything you're thinking of buying soon, and ask yourselves, 'Is this really a need or a want?"

Granted, you are earning your own money and can therefore use it however you see fit, but if you want to spend the rest of your lives together, then your financial health is always going to affect your partner. The least the both of you can do is think for the two of you, and not just your own needs and wants. 

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Make it an actual date

Prepare the wine and the cheese, then get your notebooks and calculators out. Prepare to get into some heated debates, but never lose your cool, because you are in a date.

Make the whole process fun, and keep reminding yourself that what the two of you are doing is one of the most intimate things a couple can do.

After all, you are not talking about money for money's sake, but making sure your relationship can go somewhere and not into some financial hole you will resent each other for. 

"A great thing to do to make sure you and your partner stay on the same page financially is to have regular money dates (at least monthly)," advised Patricia Stallworth, MBA, CFP, Financial Consultant, PS Worth

"Choose a time and space where you both can relax and then talk about money. The talks can focus on random topics or they can be focused on subjects like saving and spending. In either case, taking the time to talk about money makes for a stronger relationship," she added. 

Determine A Common Goal 

A house? A wedding? A trip? Children's tuition? Lifesavings? Money is uncomfortable to talk about but no one can deny money is the key to achieving goals.

If the two of you have a common goal that you need to fund, then it is highly likley that you will want to be in a similar page with regard to your finances all the time. 

"It's important to find a common ground as a couple in financial goals," Syed Nishat, behavioral financial advisor and partner, Wall Street Alliance Group, says. 

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